You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Randomize
