the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
