let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
