can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
