what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize