coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
