yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
