so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize