bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
