next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Randomize
