After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Alive.
So much puke
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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