Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Randomize
