Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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