Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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