i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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