Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
