like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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