Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Farmville is her only friend.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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