What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
