What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
