what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I looked at my own cervix.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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