I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
