I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
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