Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
