i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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