She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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