it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
