with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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