you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
