WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Randomize
