I didn't shave. On purpose
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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