Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
