What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
did you just send me my own nude
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
