Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Randomize
