Where are you?
In a non slutty way
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
time to smoke my breakfast
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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