I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Buhtt sex?
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
sarcasm needs its own font
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
