yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
