i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
