I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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