sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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