does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize
