i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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