until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
