Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
