Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
