Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
this just has baby written all over it
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Walk of Shame today included voting.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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