he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
