I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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