Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
