Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
