We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
