this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Randomize
