girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
