I wish I could punch you in the face.
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
