I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
