i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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