We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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