There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Randomize
