I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
