i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Randomize
