if only i could text you this smell
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
