their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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