He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
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